Today’s the sixth day since I deleted the most time-consuming/distracting apps from my phone. They say it takes 21 days to build a habit. Or is it 66? I am not sure. All I know is that in these last six days, while I haven’t opted out of any of the apps but simply lessened my engagement with them or on them, I have felt less restless. The inside of my brain has felt more quiet. What’s the right word for when you pick up your phone over and over again and check your apps again and again to see if there’s anything new, if there are any notifications that will give you a quick boost? Is it anxiety? Greed? Dissatisfaction with what’s on hand? A combination of all of these. I’m not sure.
All I know is that I’d tried doing this at the start of the pandemic too. Meaning, sometime in March last year. That time, I hadn’t even lasted one full day. It had felt too quiet. Super isolating. Before the day was over, I’d downloaded the apps again. I’d of course excused my dependence, “It’s the pandemic. I don’t need to be even more cut off from people than I already am.”
But in my case at least, it really isn’t/wasn’t the pandemic’s fault. So these days, I am trying to be better about just calling friends and family. Emailing. Texting. Writing letters and postcards. Am I winning at this every day? Not at all.
Still, that this time I’ve lasted six days fairly painlessly feels like a huge victory. I’m okay with the quiet thus far. Every time I have felt the need to spend quality time with my phone, I have picked it up only to realize that there’s not much to do on it, except read from my library app. Sure, I can watch a video or two, but in general I try to stay away from TV shows etc. until the day’s work is done.
I am not getting rid of my membership on these apps. I like them way too much. But I am going to try to continue limiting my time on them. Let’s see how this goes.