The late Ruth Bader Ginsburg shared this advice regarding marriage that she in turn received from her mother-in-law. “It helps to be a little deaf…” I imagine this is a worthy point to remember with respect to any close relationship, especially in these Pandemic times. And yet, how do you follow this advice successfully? How do you not hear every single, real and imagined word or sentiment, relayed against you? How do you not react? How do you forgive? And most importantly, how do you forget?
When we first got married, I asked several older friends for their top tips and advice. The suggestions ranged from “get a dog,” to “go for a daily walk.” One that I especially liked, “Do something for fun every day.”
It is hard work.
Marrying someone with a kind heart is far more important than their having any other attribute.
I have higher standards for my husband than I have for Red, the red cardinal who visits our balcony multiple times on any given day. Unlike Red, he isn’t allowed to spit, or poop, in full view of the world, especially at the same time as he is eating. He is also required to shower everyday and not scratch himself everywhere, nor while away the day hopping from one corner of our balcony to another. He finds this arrangement patently unfair.